Player Profile: Dan Gerrard
25/07/1980
Employment away from football
Outsider Restaurant
Previous Clubs
Edinburgh University
Joined Spartans
2005
Biggest influence in sport
My primary school janitor
Best celebration
Players stripping to reveal female swimming costumes (I may have been involved).
Best quote you’ve heard
Any number from Mike on a Saturday afternoon.
Strangest thing you’ve seen in football
Sam trying to sub a player off for the opposition (and almost succeeding). The player had only recently been subbed on and was having a nightmare - his first contributions being to banjo as many of our players as possible. Cue Sam - “Right son, you’ve had enough. Off you come”. The confused looking player made a move towards the bench and only then realised that it was the cantankerous Mr Lynch instead of his own manager.
Best and worst grounds
Any number of American college grounds. Shale pitches in Glasgow.
Best and worst singers
Best: Jimmy Murray, Worst: Morrisey/The Smiths
Changing room banter
‘I can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone’
Best wind up
The ‘Number 19′ game.
Worst Dresser
Mr Motivator.
Worst superstition
Donal’s ‘Lucky’ pants
Best and worst goal you’ve seen
My 35 yarder against Spartans at Peffermill. Any number of Ross Campbell’s last season.
Best night out you’ve had
The Spartans ‘Stars In Your Eyes’ night is certainly up there.
Your favourite toy as a boy
Thundercats Sword.
Best and worst chat up line heard/used
‘Is that your feet I can smell? No? Must be your ***** then’.
‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’
Worst team talk you’ve heard
Sam’s ‘OK’ one.