Date of birth

25/07/1980

Employment away from football

Outsider Restaurant

Previous Clubs

Edinburgh University

Joined Spartans

2005

Biggest influence in sport

My primary school janitor

Best celebration

Players stripping to reveal female swimming costumes (I may have been involved).

Best quote you’ve heard

Any number from Mike on a Saturday afternoon.

Strangest thing you’ve seen in football

Sam trying to sub a player off for the opposition (and almost succeeding).  The player had only recently been subbed on and was having a nightmare – his first contributions being to banjo as many of our players as possible.  Cue Sam – “Right son, you’ve had enough.  Off you come”.  The confused looking player made a move towards the bench and only then realised that it was the cantankerous Mr Lynch instead of his own manager.

Best and worst grounds

Any number of American college grounds.  Shale pitches in Glasgow.

Best and worst singers

Best: Jimmy Murray, Worst: Morrisey/The Smiths

Changing room banter

‘I can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone’

Best wind up

The ‘Number 19′ game.

Worst Dresser

Mr Motivator.

Worst superstition

Donal’s ‘Lucky’ pants

Best and worst goal you’ve seen

My 35 yarder against Spartans at Peffermill.  Any number of Ross Campbell’s last season.

Best night out you’ve had

The Spartans ‘Stars In Your Eyes’ night is certainly up there.

Your favourite toy as a boy

Thundercats Sword.

Best and worst chat up line heard/used

‘Is that your feet I can smell?  No?  Must be your ***** then’.
‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’

Worst team talk you’ve heard

Sam’s ‘OK’ one.