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Lammy’s Half Term Report
December 24, 2008
It’s half time in the 2nd 11 season so far and the pre season on the sunny Granton shore line seems a long way off. In the time since joining the club in July 2008 my team have exceeded expectation and currently sit with a played 16 , won 14 , lost 2 set of statistics. In real terms it should have been only lost one, but unfortunately the satellite phone from Cyprus was not working too well and the Chairman managed to interpret 4-4-2 as 1-1-8 in an attacking formation that left us a bit shy at the back. Not too worry, a few weeks on the Paul Ince coaching course will sort him out!
As we all know statistics can tell a multitude of stories and the “real “story is of a team playing attractive, free flowing football. Unfortunately, we don’t have anybody from Brazil, but Boysie hanging about on the beach at the Ferry gives us our Copacabana influence.
Continuing on the continental theme our own “Holy Goalie” has had an outstanding season so far. Unlike his more famous namesake he is still having nae luck wi the lassies, although he is giving Lammy an easier time than wee Gordon Strachan keeping him oot the nightclubs.
At this point it would be appropriate to say a word about our sponsors. At last I can reveal the real truth behind how Jim Rae still gets a game. The last sets of strips have guaranteed out own Mr Perma tan a run till the end of the season. Hopefully, we will get a few more free kicks and penalties in the second half of the season, although the refs are getting issued with sunglasses after his latest sun bed session.
However, the greatest achievement of the season to date, must be keeping ASBO Perry on the park on a regular basis. Admittedly, there is a downside to this, as he still refuses to shower after every game, in the fear that his electronic tag might rust up!
No mid term report could fail to forget our Irish Hitman Nick Reid or Mozam Beak as he is affectionately known. I can exclusively reveal that our in depth post match video analysis can advise that his 14 goals to date have been scored with left foot 1, right foot 1, head 2 and nose 10.
And so to the legendary Burnsie our captain and Spartans stalwart of the last 15 years. He has been outstanding this season and it is particularly apt that he is getting a testimonial in the coming year. I would like to offer my own testimonial to Burnsie ….” your a true Spartan “
More disturbingly, I can report that Spartans second X1 still hold the all time record for having the hairiest man in Scottish football. I am sad to report that the boozers up the town are going bankrupt coz Paulo decided to have a night at training instead of his usual form of exercise.
All in all it has been a good season so far with us sitting top of the league, in the fifth round of the Scottish and in the 3rd round of the East of Scotland. The hopes are high for the second half of the season and the “real” work at the business end of matters is fast approaching. On this note, I need a greater commitment to training and self improvement to ensure we get our just rewards at the end of the season for our excellent efforts to date.
I am very hopeful for the rest of the season and will be active in the coming weeks to strengthen the squad to help in our push towards success. I was looking around the fantastic facilities we have the other day and thought it would be good to get that trophy cabinet filed up by the end of the season. C,mon boys lets give the Chairman a headache with his brasso budget.
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